Sometimes, I secretly revel in my alter-ego: Warrior Princess!
She is always just below the surface, ready to come out and "save the day"; but sometimes to do that she has to fight through some large dark clouds that hide her way. But she is always ready to make an appearance.
When the Warrior Princess is around, I feel stronger than anyone around me. I hear someone complain about some incident that now seems so trivial in my eyes and Warrior Princess wants to say, "If you think that's difficult, what about a diagnosis of cancer?" When a friend gets so angry at waiting in a doctor's office; Warrior Princess suggests saying, "You are lucky that your doctor cares about you and wants to help you. Maybe someone needed more of your doctor's time today. Get over it!" When someone complains about having to go somewhere, Warrior Princess offers, "How about staying home for a few weeks in pain, uncomfortable, and depressed! Kinda makes being able to go somewhere less of a burden, huh?" And Warrior Princess even goes so far as to give her opinion on what to say when someone tells Sharon that they had a lumpectomy and that's all they had to go through...but what a time they had!" Warrior Princess wants to say "WHAHHHHHH!! Try chemo and three surgeries. Then get back to me!" Warrior Princess has little time for sympathy; she's too busy fighting her way ahead and watching for danger. She just can't deal with "the small stuff" like when someone complains about their fingernails breaking off because Warrior Princess really wants to say, "Try having a body part removed, and then give me a call!"
Yes, Warrior Princess is one tough cookie and probably eats glass or something for dinner. And while she is needed sometimes just so Sharon can get through the day; sometimes she must also be "calmed down." Sharon will be smiling and nodding as someone tells her yet again about a friend or relative who died of breast cancer (note to all: don't do this to someone who is still fighting the battle!) and the Warrior Princess will keep asking, "Now?...do you need me now??? And since Sharon is the compassionate one of the two, she will tell her, "No, it's OK. This person doesn't understand that their words are not helpful." When someone asks Sharon how she is doing, and then doesn't wait for an answer, but proceeds to tell her a long, involved story of their own medical history, Warrior Princess is bursting to appear. But Sharon tells her, "This person must feel that they have found someone who can understand just how hard a time they had. Let them talk."
They are both halves of me lately; and I need them both. Warrior Princess gives me strength and allows me to rant and rave and sometimes even get obnoxious. But my truer self is also needed because I do understand that everyone around me just wants to help; that people need people; that it's sometimes hard to know just what to say; that God is not going to let me down; and that Warrior Princess is a gift to carry me through.
Today I went back to the plastic surgeon for another follow-up. He said all is fine and said, "I bet it's good to hear that after all you've been through." And I didn't need Warrior Princess to say, "Yes, you got that right!" He is going away for a week, so I see one of his other colleagues next week...in fact, the one that assisted in my last surgery. For the next couple weeks, we just wait for swelling to go down and for the dust to settle. And be thankful that things are good.
Sunday I get to spend the day with my "old-same"...someone who never has to see Warrior Princess directly; although we do compare our "Warrior Princesses" and the times they have swept through our week.
Warrior Princess wants to end this by saying, "If you haven't had your mammogram, just what are you waiting for?" And you better listen to her...she's can be quite forceful!