I am somewhat relieved today. I did go to my oncologist and after looking at my bloods, she told me that I am severely anemic, and need a blood transfusion which will be done tomorrow morning first thing. Relieved, you are saying??? Yes, I am!
At first I wanted to ask for a mirror so I could check my neck for the fang marks. She assured me, though, it was no Vampire, just a combo of chemo and my lousy eating lately. It sure does explain why I have been feeling as badly as I have! Honestly, I thought it was all chemo-related until she went over the symptoms with me and then even I could put it all together. Since this is my first time with chemo, though, (and let's hope the last!) I thought feeling so horrid was "normal"...well, it is....but I guess feeling this horrid is not.
I'm still annoyed that some chemo Vampire might have come in and taken my blood while I wasn't looking! And if he was half as good looking as the Vampires in the movies (not my type, ...but some people I work with LOVE THEM...and you know who you are!) then I wish I had been awake or something while he was there. But as is my luck, it's just the luck of the draw with the "red devil vampire".
It even makes sense now why they just could not get the blood for the testing today, and had to use the port, which they don't usually have to do. I must really be running on empty. Thank God this ought to do the job, and I should be feeling much better by the weekend.
I've also been thinking about something that I wanted to say at one point and this is as good a time as any. I have been talking a lot about what people have done for me...but this journey is also about what I can do and be for others and for finding new guidelines in life for what's important and what is not . I realize how I have let some relationships in my life go, and I regret that now. I have also not always been as good a friend as I could have been to others. I have sometimes been judgemental, or sarcastic, or too proud to admit I am wrong. I am seeing myself in my own eyes and knowing I can and should change some things. And I will do my best, with God's help. Especially after all the love He has shown me through others, I need to show more of it back.
WOW..deep! I want you to know, though, that right now, I am throwing you some of that love and will give you a big hug when I can. Cancer has brought me good people...but will also make me a better person. Bring on the blood, Mr. Vampire Man!