It has taken me a few days to reconcile my emotions with the news I received on Friday. It was not a pretty appointment. By the time I got to the plastics surgeon's office, the incision site on the one breast was "oozing" pretty bad (sorry to gross you out!), and the skin looked "black and blue". He immediately had to cut again on this side just as he did with the other side. There is no infection, it was just "leaking fluid" since the skin is so thin. And that is my problem more than anything else right now. He told me he has not seen skin this thin in a long time and unfortunately, the verdict is that I will have to have the skin grafts.
I am a little discouraged since I was just beginning to feel more myself and now I will be beginning again at "square one". At this point, I am out of the "emergency status", but it still needs to be done. He is thinking in a week or two since he wants to give the skin a rest, if it can cooperate and take one! So life is once again "on hold". The surgery to come is about 3 hours and they will take some skin and muscle from my back and graft that onto the breast tissue. Once again, a two day stay in the hospital, the drains for a week, and about three weeks recovery. I feel like my life is playing a "rerun" of a few weeks ago. My husband keeps reminding me that the "good news" is that the cancer is gone and I will live a long life...it's just that I have to get over this unexpected hurdle. And I am trying my best to keep my mind on this positive news.
On a lighter note, and a sweet one...since I was so upset this weekend about the news, my husband asked me if the surgeon could take the skin from his back so I didn't have to have the "double whammy" of all the painful surgery sites. That was so sweet of him, but of course, this can't happen...and as I told him, I don't really want to have "hairy breasts".
Yes, I can still joke and try to stay positive and I know God will walk me through this one more time. But I could use your encouragement this time. Please write some words or prayers to lift my spirits. I would so appreciate hearing from you.