Yesterday was the third go-round with the "red devil". Although red is one of my favorite colors, seeing it in drink or food form now instantly makes my stomach do a double turn around. See, it isn't a drug that can just be in an IV bag high up above you where you don't look at it. Instead, it is injected into your IV right in front of you. My own dose comes in three syringes. Seeing that red color in the syringe and then afterward each time I pee is a reminder of what is to come. So seeing red now in food or drink just makes me feel sick right away.
The chemo ballroom this week we all nicknamed, "the Ladies Room" because this time it was all women. So, needless to say, it was full of chatter, women sharing stories, laughter, pulling off wigs to compare bald heads, sharing food and just generally sharing ourselves. I hardly read at all this time since it was just good talking and laughing. My husband and a couple other husbands felt outnumbered and excused themselves to go out to the lobby and watch TV. I don't blame them, we were a noisy bunch!
I give so much credit to the nurses since all of them are so accommodating and informative and there whenever you need them. The minute I come into the room, one of the aides will always come up and give me a pillow for my back, and a blanket (they keep the room on the colder side to keep the germs down). The chairs are all recliners and you can get yourself really comfy. Of course, when your butt starts getting numb, you can always get up, and talk a stroll with your "partner" IV pole. This time I wore one of my hats, and everyone wanted to know where I got it. So, I told them to head to K-Mart, where these hats are only $6.99. I think I am starting a trend.
The night of the chemo treatments, I can never sleep. I thought at first it was just the anxiety over getting the chemo, but my oncologist told me today it is a common side effect of the steroids that we get as "pre-meds" before the chemo. It just "wires us up"! And that is truly what it does! I get to sleep, but wake up about 3 am feeling like I need to get up and build a house or something. I am so wide awake, I have to walk around the house, sometimes put on the TV, and just try to wind down. I don't usually succeed, and end up going to work the next day feeling like I am in a daze but with energy. I do get a lot done, and hopefully it all makes sense...and usually, incredibly it is when I do my best work. This day after chemo is also the day I need to go back to the cancer center to get the shot that helps my white blood cells come back (Come back, Little Sheba's). My appointment was at 2:15, since you have to come back 24 hours after your chemo. I stayed at work so I wouldn't fall asleep at home, and the minute I got home, wig and clothes came off and PJ's and a bald head are finally a part of me again.
I will sleep OK tonight since I am now exhausted and not as wired. I am like a worn down toy whose batteries need replacement. So, I bid you "adieu" as I really need to get some sleep. Y..A...W...N...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz