Since the beginning of the week, I was still dragging until today. Today, just as suddenly as last time, I felt my energy level pick up and my head clear. And once again, my back is beginning to ache...which, according to my oncologist last time, means my platelets are coming back. I go for my blood tests tomorrow to check blood counts, so I am hoping this is a good omen. I just need to have this next chemo cocktail on time so I will have good days during Thanksgiving. Timing is everything now-a-days.
I am so looking forward to my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter coming up for the holiday....but I didn't want them to come if I was just going to have the covers over my head. Plus, we always go to my "old-same" niece (from Snow Flower and the Secret Fan) and that beloved nephew's house for Thanksgiving and I am missing seeing my "old-same" in person (although we talk on the phone all the time).
I have been to work two days this week with my new wig. Everyone seems to think it looks pretty good (or else they are just being very kind...but I'll take it!) and just the style and color of my "real" hair. The first day, I had it on too tight, and couldn't stand it more than a couple hours and had to switch to one of the hats I have recently purchased (thank God, hats are in now!). But today, I loosened it and actually even forgot it was on my head! When I come home, I just go "au naturale". My husband has started to call me "Brittney" after Ms. Spears and the time she went mad and shaved her head. And...he even said it's kinda cute! Gotta love him too! I am resigned now to the loss of hair and glad that hurdle is in the past. I still say if anyone is going through this, shave your head right after the second treatment of the "red devil"...because your hair IS going to fall and it is very dramatic...in fact, just too much. Shaving it before the "big hair fall" will give you some control over what is going on and not be so horrifying to watch.
Mindset is everything. I refuse to think about the next few months but do think on the next treatment and the next day. Looking too far ahead is just too overwhelming right now. But every once in a while, I do think about the springtime and how it will be when everything is blooming and "coming alive" and I am finishing my chemo. What a wonderful world that will be!
Wish me luck tomorrow! And keep sending those prayers my way. I will do the same for you.