Thursday, February 23, 2012

Good Morning Sunshine!

Each day now is such a pleasure knowing chemo is done.  I still have years of check-ups and scans before I can consider myself "cured"; but I am a survivor of all that has been! 

Once again (YAY!), at my last check-up at the plastic surgeon's, all things are still going well.  And once again, I do not have to see him until THREE weeks!  What a complete and utter pleasure to have so much time in between doctor appointments now.  I still have a month to go before my oncologist visit also.  I am now, though, in the process of playing "catch-up" with all my other doctors such as my original surgeon for the mastectomy, my dentist, my gyno doc, etc.  All things that need doing and have been neglected for the past year and a half.  I got a card from the place where I get my mammograms and ultra-sounds reminding me that I am due.  It was a bittersweet moment to see that and know those two tests won't be needed anymore; but was once again reminded that now I just look step at a time.

The right extender bothers me more than the left.  I am guessing that this is because it was more recently put back in, and that it was put in vertically rather than horizontally (plastic surgeon wanted to ensure that darn spot was not affected at all).  He is still saying that the implants will be in sometime in May.  I had a chance to talk to my friend who had the mastectomy and asked her if the implants will indeed feel better and more comfortable than the extenders.  She told me they definitely were that is something to look forward to.  Can't wait.  And can't wait to be done with surgeries.

I did have one additional surgery just last week....I GOT MY PORT OUT!  My oncologist gave the "all clear" and said I could arrange this whenever I wanted to.  Since it was beginning to press somewhat on the right extender, I decided to do it now.  While I was in there waiting for the procedure, I started thinking about the last time I was in that room (same room, same bed!) and how frightened I was for the port to be put in and overwhelmed by all that was coming.  I sat in the bed unable to hold back the tears...and the nurse came in.  She told me "Don't cry have so much to go through, this will be the smallest part.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and don't look ahead.  Just take it one day at a time."  And she was right.  It indeed helped to just survive the next procedure, next chemo, next surgery; and not keep thinking about all of it at once.  God reminds us of the same thing when he said "Don't worry about tomorrow.  Tomorrow will come with worries of it's own.  It is enough to just get through today." (Matt. 6:34)  And it sure helps knowing God is there every step of that day in front of you.

So I wake up today to sunshine and a beautiful spring-like day in February and remember when I so wanted to just be at this point and had so much yet to go.  With a lightened heart I can gladly say, "Good Morning, brighten my day!"

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