Once upon a time
words were spoken
that brought disturbing images
and worrisome thoughts
and all peace was disturbed.
I heard the words as if from afar,
seeing them in front of me,
hanging with great heaviness,
and refusing to float away.
It seems time stood still and yet kept racing on.
I think back to what has been,
and can't quite believe all that was,
and where I am
and where I will be.
I am tired of "being sick".
I am so very tired of doctors and chemo ballrooms.
I am completely tired of my bald head
with its white fuzzy hair poking through.
And I am crazy tired of making uneven eyebrow patterns
on my empty forehead.
Each month has seemed the same,
with its tests and the searching for good veins;
and the slow discovery of chemo side effects,
that are a reminder of the invasion of toxic drugs.
Into this small world that I have been travelling
now comes more unfamiliar territory.
There will be a rush of more tests
and more doctors in more rooms.
I then prepare to meet my future
as one who will be transformed.
On May 11th surgery comes
and meets me full-on.
What was...will be no more,
but what will be will remain a reminder
of "once upon a time".