Today, the blog is not about side effects, cancer, chemo and all things breast cancer.
You see...life goes on...and it's not always fun and games. There have been many concerns lately in my life that at times have also been overwhelming. I haven't brought any of them to this blog because they are private, and also because this blog just dealt with the breast cancer journey itself. But today, as yet another concern came forward, it reminded me that this also is a part of the journey.
I try to keep my life stress-free in order to help the healing. But this is just not possible to do 100% of the time in anyone's life. Life has an insidious way of claiming your attention just when you need it to lie down and relax. I have found this time in my life not only one of surprising strength and increasing faith; but also a time when I have been faced with more external difficulties than I could ever have anticipated. It almost makes tomorrow's Benedryl dreams look good!
I have also found that this journey has become more than the cancer itself. It is also a personal journey of my body, mind and spirit. I feel myself letting go of some things and recognizing the importance of others. I have found comfort in places unexpected...and sadness where I never thought it would be found. I have needed friends and family to be near and to be a part of this with me. Some have come along for the ride and some have disappointed me with their company, but I am learning to let that go.
I have been told over and over again that I look "so good, you don't look sick at all!"...and I realize how we are "read" constantly by others just by our looks and facial expressions. So, I wonder how much of my "looking good" and "strength" has led others to think my life is "normal and back on track". In case you are asking, it is not.
Yeah, there has been some heavy stuff concerning me lately....and not just the breast cancer journey.
However, I will continue to hold my head up and smile and go forward. There is so much to do and so much to plan and so much more to journey through yet. I have leaned that "Life Goes On" even when you are fighting hard through a difficult time. You just need God by your side and a husband like mine to lean on to help get through it all.