Friday, March 18, 2011

A Serious Detour

Things were looking up, comparatively.  Chemo was done, surgery was going to be planned, Herceptin, every 3 week dose, had begun.  I had just had my third muga scan and seen my surgeon to plan the date for my mastectomy.  It seemed that spring was beginning to show its face in warmer days and birds calling each other in the early morning.  Spring was a time I had long been looking forward to as it would herald significant progress in the breast cancer journey.

As someone said today, "Man Plans, God Laughs".  It happens...and I am a planner.  I need to know I have all my "ducks in a row" and that things are going along according to "the plan".  Today, I don't think anyone was laughing...even God.

My cell phone rang and I saw it was my oncologist.  Since I had just had my muga scan the day before, I figured the office was calling to give me my results.  They were...but the results were not what I had anticipated.  The moment I heard my oncologist speak, I knew she was worried.  It seems that the scan showed my heart function was affected by the medication.  I knew this was something that could happen, but I was feeling pretty good and not thinking this could happen to me.  (I need to get over my feeling of "invincibility".)  Again, like the phone call that started the journey all the way back in August, this phone call also would change things.

I had to stop in her office to pick up a letter excusing me from Jury Duty (doesn't this always come at the wrong time?), so she asked me to stop in.  The heart function change is slight, but thankfully, my oncologist is very proactive.  She told me there was no damage to my heart, but that the functionality of the heart had been compromised slightly.  Therefore, she was suspending any further Herceptin, wanted me to have another muga scan in four weeks, and then meet with her the next day.  For some people, the function can "bounce" right back with this longer span of time between a treatment.  For others, it may not.  If that is the case, then she would need to determine if I could continue on the Herceptin and if not, what options were open. There are medications that can aide heart function while on this therapy; and/or other accommodations can take place (longer span of time in between treatments, lower dosage, etc.).  All of these decisions would be made after the next scan.  The worst of all was that I had to cancel my surgery date which had just been confirmed, since quite naturally, having this result would not be an optimal time for surgery.

Once again, I am disappointed beyond words.  I so dislike "untied ends" and the wait of four weeks to find out where I go from here.  Not to mention the worry of this heart function problem.

So I am at the mercy of this serious detour and just need to wait out the future.  

On a brighter note, my hair is starting to sprout and my husband now calls me, "Fuzzy".  One of his favorite things is to run his hand back and forth across my head.  While it is annoying, it is also endearing, so I endure it!

If you have a moment, say a prayer for me that my heart returns to its normal functioning and I can leave this detour and continue on my journey toward wellness and being cancer-free.   

1 comment:

  1. May you feel God's powerful healing touch already at work on your heart. May you know peace and feel confidence that God has placed you in good hands. God's purpose will be fulfilled for you. Amen.